I know this is a family oriented site. However, I feel the need to post Beer drinking rules. Just in time for Oktoberfest …
Rule 1001 - No Spillage
Spilling any amount of beer will get you cut off
Rule 1002 - No Dual Openers
Anyone accidentally opening another beer, before finishing their current beer, is cut off.
Rule 1003 - No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non-refrigerated) beer just pisses people off!!
Rule 1004 - No Freeloading
You may show up once without bringing your own supply. After that, you are cut off!
Rule 1005 - No Quitters
My favorite rule…if you pour it, you drink it!!
Rule 1006 - No Illegal Dumping
You know the type - this is the person who takes so long to finish their beer that it has become warm and flat. They try to sneak over to a bush or a sink and dump it out so they can go get a fresh refill. Please refer to Rule 1005.
Rule 1007 - No Mine Sweeping
There is no excuse for losing track of your beer and grabbing the closest beer as if it were yours…get your own!
Rule 1008 - No Butting
Accidentally or purposely dropping a cigarette butt into an otherwise good beer will get you thrown out and chastised until the end of time!
Rule 1009 - No Bring and Switch
If you bring it, you drink it. Don’t bring in some cheap, knock off, $4.85 a case beer, and drink the other good beer in the house first.
Rule 1010 - No Slamming Good Beer
No slamming of quality ales or lagers! Good beer is ment to be enjoyed. You may however slam a Bud or a Coors (first beer only ) just to get the taste of the day out of your system. Then enjoy a real beer.
Rule 1011 - No Updating
There is no walking around saying “I’m so wrecked, this is my 8th.” If you’re sober enough to remember how many you’ve had, then you havent had enough!
The Beer Prayer (not a rule, but worthy of the list)
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be Thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen
