TeamCushman

Probably the best predictions I’ve seen. Comparing to Star Wars, nice going …

Prediction	AFC EAST	Star Wars Character
New England 11 - 5		Emperor Palpatine Keeps Darth Vader (below) on a tight leash. Used to be terrifying, but now is just old and wrinkled.
New York 10 - 6		Darth Maul The threatening apprentice. Knows what he’s doing, but will still end up sliced in half at the bottom of a reactor shaft.
Buffalo 6 - 10		Biggs He was right there until the end, then he blew up.
Miami 5 - 11		Jar Jar Bumbling moron.

Prediction	AFC NORTH	Star Wars Character
Baltimore12 - 4		The Death Star Incredible defense against a large scale attack, but has a tendency to implode.
Pittsburgh10 - 6		Sebulba Wins a lot of pod races, but has been known to cheat. The shot at another title was undone by an ugly crash.
Cincinnati10 - 6		Crix Madine Imprisoned, but he broke out just in time to lead a major offensive.
Cleveland 3 - 13		Jawas They are small, brown, and constantly trading for junk.

Prediction	AFC SOUTH	Star Wars Character
Colts 11 - 5		Luke Skywalker You aren’t sure he is going to get it done in the end, but you can’t imagine the story ending any other way.
Jaguars 10 - 6		Salacious Crumb Sort of menacing at first glance, but easily defeated by lesser heroes.
Houston 6 - 10		Bantha Slow moving herd animals who are easily mastered.
Tennessee 6 - 10		Admiral Piett Competent leadership that is constantly failed by its underlings.

Prediction	AFC WEST	Star Wars Character
Chargers 14 - 2		Darth Vader Very frightening, but never lived up to its incredible potential.
Denver 9 - 7		Admiral Ackbar A brilliant strategist who always seems to fall into traps.
Kansas City 6 - 10		Taun Taun You have to be careful because they’ll let you ride them to death.
Oakland 3 - 13		Storm troopers They may look tough, but they aren’t.

Prediction	NFC EAST	Star Wars Character
Dallas 11 - 5		Young Obi-Wan Has talented protégées, but it all could go horribly wrong.
Philadelphia 10 - 6		Mace Windu Nearly defeated the Emperor. (Also McNabb would look badass wielding a purple lightsaber.)
New York 8 - 8		Princess Leia Sibling of the chosen one.
Washington 7 - 9		Jabba Rich and bloated.

Prediction	NFC NORTH	Star Wars Character
Chicago 12 - 4		Anakin Brash and talented, but has no arm.
Minnesota 6 - 10		Mon Mothma Really, really boring.
Green Bay 6 - 10		Yoda Green and 800 years old.
Detroit 6 - 10		Admiral Ozzel “He is as clumsy as he is stupid.”

Prediction	NFC SOUTH	Star Wars Character
New Orleans 12 - 4		Wedge His presence is nearly inexplicable, but he’s going to be there in the end.
Carolina 7 - 9		Millennium Falcon A favorite of everyone’s, but may break down at exactly the wrong time.
Tampa Bay 3 - 13		The Naboo Squadron Lots of pilots, none of them any good.
Atlanta 2 - 14		Han Solo frozen in carbonite You couldn’t be more screwed.

Prediction	NFC WEST	Star Wars Character
Seattle 10 - 6		The planet Kamino Wet, rainy and wet.
St. Louis 9 - 7		Kit Fisto Impressive looking warrior who is too easily defeated by the dark side.
Arizona 9 - 7		Slave Princess Leia Always the sexy pick, but ends up choking you to death.
San Francisco 6 - 10		Bail Organa A rich lineage in formal attire.

Here are some of my favorite bottle openers …

I will start with my very own belt buckle …

Nothing frustrates me more when I am using my spork as having to put it down before I open my beer. Now, I don’t have to …

Ok, this one really intrigues me. Not flashy, but works just as well. With this one, you can freak out your drinking buddies or impress the ladies with your Superman strength.

A piece of paper. Ok, let me repeat that for those that didn’t hear me. A piece of paper!!

This one started the whole bottle opener craze. My only problem with this one is that you have to bend over to use it or take off your shoe.

Lastly, this one works for those of us that are just too darn inebriated to use the old fashion kind. Some feel that its too big. I like to think that its hard to lose.

I know this is a family oriented site. However, I feel the need to post Beer drinking rules. Just in time for Oktoberfest …

Rule 1001 - No Spillage
Spilling any amount of beer will get you cut off

Rule 1002 - No Dual Openers
Anyone accidentally opening another beer, before finishing their current beer, is cut off.

Rule 1003 - No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non-refrigerated) beer just pisses people off!!

Rule 1004 - No Freeloading
You may show up once without bringing your own supply. After that, you are cut off!

Rule 1005 - No Quitters
My favorite rule…if you pour it, you drink it!!

Rule 1006 - No Illegal Dumping
You know the type - this is the person who takes so long to finish their beer that it has become warm and flat. They try to sneak over to a bush or a sink and dump it out so they can go get a fresh refill. Please refer to Rule 1005.

Rule 1007 - No Mine Sweeping
There is no excuse for losing track of your beer and grabbing the closest beer as if it were yours…get your own!

Rule 1008 - No Butting
Accidentally or purposely dropping a cigarette butt into an otherwise good beer will get you thrown out and chastised until the end of time!

Rule 1009 - No Bring and Switch
If you bring it, you drink it. Don’t bring in some cheap, knock off, $4.85 a case beer, and drink the other good beer in the house first.

Rule 1010 - No Slamming Good Beer
No slamming of quality ales or lagers! Good beer is ment to be enjoyed. You may however slam a Bud or a Coors (first beer only ) just to get the taste of the day out of your system. Then enjoy a real beer.

Rule 1011 - No Updating

There is no walking around saying “I’m so wrecked, this is my 8th.” If you’re sober enough to remember how many you’ve had, then you havent had enough!

The Beer Prayer (not a rule, but worthy of the list)
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be Thy drink,
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen