TeamCushman

Ok, I admit it. I’m a touchy feely guy. While you may think this goes against an earlier post, it really doesn’t. I enjoy meeting new people. When shaking hands, I often grip my non-shaking hand to the shoulder, elbow or even the double cover handshake. However, more often than not, I hug. Not strangers mind you, but people I know. Some still feel this is awkward, I don’t. Men especially feel this way. It’s not about being a metrosexual or whatever, it’s just a sign of affection to someone I care about. So for those that are still confused, I give you the steps to a great “Man Hug”. Enjoy …

         When to hug

This is entirely down to what you feel comfortable with. When greeting family members, or a good friend you haven’t seen for a while, a hug almost certainly required. Congratulating a guy on getting engaged, becoming a father or even securing a promotion, a hug will be in order. If celebrating a win for your favorite team, you will find that suddenly worrying about hugging is no longer an issue. Anything goes.

 

The approach

When going for a hug, make it clear what you are doing. You won’t want to catch the huggee off guard. Start by spreading your hands wide with your right hand about 20 inches higher than the left. Lean back ever so slightly, this is a non threatening stance, making it clear you are not about to attack. Tilt your head to the left - this lets your huggee know where you are going so they can do the opposite, others wise there may be an embarrassing collision.

 

Embrace

 

 

Step in towards your compadre. Your right hand will go over their shoulder, with your head going to the left of theirs. Show your sincerity by gripping them firmly in your arms - there is nothing worse than a floppy, half heart attempt. Keep your head level and facing forwards. Looking down, or turning towards your hugee may end up as inappropriate nuzzling. Hold the embrace for as long as you feel comfortable, a second or two will do

 

The pat

 

 

This is the crucial part of a man hug, separating it from a traditional cuddle. With your left hand pat, tap or even smack your buddy 3 or 4 times on the back. This demonstrates you are still men - you maybe be affectionate but you can still dish out some pain. If you still feel this is too effeminate for you then give a light, double punch instead of a pat.

The break

 

 

While you are giving the final pat, break. Lift your hands smartly away, don’t slide them over your buddy in a lingering manner. This may confuse them, and you. Alternatively you could finish by gripping your friends firmly on the upper arms and saying something celebratory. ‘Well Done Eric”, “Congratulations”, or “Great to see you again” are all good. This makes for a clear and understandably reason for the hug and finishes it succinctly. Now return to whatever you were doing before the hug. Don’t feel the need to cough, avoid eye contract, or scratch yourself. You are still firmly a man - but one who is not afraid of showing their emotions. Mission accomplished.

 

Happy Fathers day to the all the Dads out there. I’ll leave it at that. I have a problem with Fathers Day. In fact, I have a problem with Mothers Day, Bosses day, Grandparents day, any other day that there is a coerced sense of affection. Not to say that the kids feel as if they are forced to say “I love you”, its just that we don’t need a special day to do so. It’s something we do everyday. Case in point … I’m in Target the other day. They have the Indiana Jones box set on sale. If you haven’t heard, George Lucas is starting to film a 4th Indiana Jones movie, so in anticipation of the new movie, I wanted to pick up the box set. Sorry, can’t happen. The kids already purchased it for me, so I have to wait. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when the kids actually think of Mom and I, but that’s what Christmas is for. In all honesty, Mom did the thinking, the buying, the wrapping, etc … That’s what I mean by “forced”. The kids are just showing up for the credit. I know, because mother’s day wasn’t that long ago and we did the same thing.

I don’t know if its urban legend or not, but I remember someone telling me that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were created by Hallmark just to sell greeting cards. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it sounds like something they would do. Look, I have enough ties, dress shirts, etc … the fact that my wife is buying me things and slapping a Father’s Day card on it doesn’t make it any more special then when she spontaneously picks up something for me. I don’t need a special day to show the affection we have for each other. I especially get in trouble for this with my Mom. My mom loves cards. I can send her all the flowers, jewelry or any other present, but it wouldn’t matter if she didn’t get the Mother’s Day Hallmark greeting card. For some reason, she needs to see it in writing. Where I get into trouble is that I don’t send it. Not that I don’t love her, I mean I can call her 364 days in the year and tell her that I appreciate her and love her, but if I don’t say it ON THAT DAY, it’s like all the other days didn’t exist. This can only happen to me.

So come Sunday, we will go out to lunch or dinner (my pick of course), I will unwrap my surprise gift (gee … I wonder what it will be) and read my Fathers day card. The most important moment will be when my wife and kids tell me they love me, Fathers Day or not THAT’s what makes it a special day!

Summertime! gotta love grilling out. Here are some quick tips that I’ve learned. This first lets you compare your steak with your hand to determine the approximate temperature of your meat. It takes some practice, but once you have it down, it works …

Rare:
Internal temp: 125F
Soft and squishy, like a pink sponge

Medium Rare:
Internal temp: 145F
Firm but yielding, like a Nerf football

Medium:
Internal temp: 160F
Barely yielding, like a racquetball

Well:
Internal temp: 170F
Hard yet springy, like a tennis ball

Next technique, is getting your porcelain grates clean for the season. If you have a self cleaning oven, throw them in your oven and turn on the self cleaning cycle. The grates will come out dusty, but once you wipe them down, they are like new.

Once you do this, don’t forget to lubricate before each use, this keeps them clean for the season, plus gives you great grill marks on your meat! Use Grill Wipes, makes this very easy, Home Depot has them. After you grill, keep the heat high, close the lid and grunge burn. Come back and the rest is easy to scrape off.

Speaking of grill marks, to get those professional marks, set your meat let it sear for a few minutes, then rotate another 90 degrees. Great way to impress the guests. Remember never poke the meat, flip, don’t flip often. Let the heat work the meat.

I was talking to Logan while we were eating out the other night. Somehow the subject of stupids things came up. Here’s a list of some stupid things I did as a child. In no particular order …

* Setting my brother on fire. Yes, we were in scouts. Yes, we had a campfire in woods in the back of our house. Often we would build camp fires. So we had this brilliant idea of throwing one of the engines from our pinewood derby into the fire. We were curious, wanted to see what would happen. After the explosion, we learned first hand how to stop , drop and roll!

* Growing up in the 70’s Mom and Dad had this beautiful wood paneling in the house. I’m sure it was expensive. Around this time, my brother and I were involved in karate, kickboxing and martial arts weapons. These weapons include throwing stars … Throwing stars are sharp … very sharp! Combine that with the fact that we were not trained to use them. Bet you could imagine our parent’s face when they walked in and saw that we were testing the sharpness of the stars by throwing them against the wood paneling. I think the left side of my tukas still hurts from the paddle!

* Almost burning down the house. Yes, I learned the hard way that matches and plaid polyester bed spreads don’t mix. I was stupid enough to be playing with matches one night (see a theme here!) and ended up getting our bed spreads caught on fire. Luckily, my dad and mom were able to put it out. My brother was sleeping in my parent’s bed at the time and wouldn’t you know it, I blamed him. What an idiot.

* Sneaking out of the house. I did this on a number of occassions, but this time I took the ol 1980 Chevy Impala station wagon out with said parents knowing. What could go wrong? No harm. I was just meeting friends at a local park, hanging out, no problem right? Not until some jerk started firing a shotgun at the lights. Now we have a problem. Cops came, paddy wagons came. Next thing I know I’m at juvy hall on a school night. Now picture this … its 2 or 3 in the morning and the phone rings … “Mrs. Cushman, we have your son down at juvenille detention.” And yes, I did go to school the next day!

* I struggled with putting this one in, but in the end, it fits. It is said that a cat always lands on all fours. As a young kid, I tested this theory. However, rather than dropping them, I threw them in the air. We had a cat that used to have a lot of kittens, tons of them. One day, I … through the kittens in the air and they landed in the gutters of our house. I guess I found it amusing at the sight of four of the kitten’s legs spread out like a helicopter and landing in the gutter. I don’t remember how many there were, nor do I remember if the theory was correct. I just remember going on to find something else to do. I didn’t think it was funny seeing dad going up the ladder to get them down at the time. Disclaimer - no kittens were hurt during this episode! I think the right side of my tukas still hurts from the paddle.

The only reason I post these and talk about them - as I told my kids - is that there is no stupid idea that you can think of that I haven’t thought of before. So don’t try it! Don’t even think about it!!

I am tapped out. Or should I say … tipped out. Is it me or does everyone want a tip these days. I’ve got one for you … when your IQ hits 80 … sell! Sorry, industry joke. I’m ok with tipping waiters, barbers, valets or even the pizza guy. The problem is that it seems that more people than ever expect tips and the amount they expect is going up and up. Just look at how many people expect tips at this point, incredible! In addition, some have gone so far as to put a tip guide on the receipt itself …

I appreciate the help, but no thanks. My kids don’t give me ideas on their allowance and I don’t expect you to do that with your tips. Let’s be honest here. If you get a job that involves tips, that’s ok. Just don’t complain when we don’t leave you one that is below what you expect. It’s purely business, it ain’t personal. Otherwise, I will whip out my personal tip guide that shows you how many times I expect my tea refilled and the time expected to clean the table which would equal the percentage of tip you will get. First of all, I’m tired of those that put on the obsequious act of pretending they are my long lost best friend. The worst of these are stylists at Supercuts or the Haircuttery. All I ask is that you cut my hair the way I ask and get the sideburns straight. I don’t want to know about your HDD kids or your alcholic husband. The faster you cut my hair, the faster I can get out of there and the faster you can have someone else you can talk into giving you a few more dollars per hour.

Another one I can’t stand are restaurants where they have take-out. At a place that will remain nameless, my wife had someone actually say to her “geez another debit card.” When my wife asked what was wrong he replied “we don’t get tips with debit cards.” This is true at Starbucks also. While I will give them credit, they tend to keep a smile on their face whether you tip or not, the fact that there is a tip jar there, bugs the crap out of me and makes me feel guilty when I use my Starbucks card.

As I said before, I don’t mind tipping waiters. What I do mind is when did it go from 15 to 20%? I didn’t get that memo. And who wrote the rule that I am supposed to tip at least 10% even when the service is bad. I have resorted to leaving nothing or one time, leaving a penny with my phone number on it for the manager to call to find out why I only gave a penny. I figured the manager that reconciles the receipts would surely be interested to know why I left a message on the receipt. Did I get a call? absolutely not. Sorry state of customer service, but that’s another post. On the other hand, I left a $100 tip for a waitress that was a Katrina evacuee. Did we get a thank you call? … it’s a no there too. We didn’t really want one, but in the back of my mind it would have been nice. I guess chivalry is going the way of customer service, but that’s another post too.

The fact is that there are way too many folks that feel they are entitled to tips. All I ask is that you do your job. If you don’t like the amount of our tips, go work somewhere where you don’t have to rely on tips. Let me restate, there are those that I am ok with tipping. The rest of you … go panhandle somewhere else.